he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
