Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
