There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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