is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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