no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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