I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
