It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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