i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
