What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
