i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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