She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
