Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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