my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize