i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
