Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
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Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
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walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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