After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
