In the future we'll all be gay
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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