Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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