I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
