i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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