i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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