You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
