I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
