his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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