He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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