i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
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My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
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IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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