I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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