He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
