So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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