quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
