a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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