so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
