My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
