I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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