Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
