There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
