I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never un-have a 4some
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize