Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize