we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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