do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
