I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize