He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
