She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
