Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so let's talk penis.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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