omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
