I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She tied me up with her honor cords...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
