The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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