yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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