her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Couch. On fire.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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