i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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