Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
