Need sex. Gaining weight.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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