my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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