The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
What a dumb baby whore.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
