i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
well, you know. whores of a feather.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
