i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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